once in a lifetime

Now, where am I?

2009-02-10T01:47:00.003+08:00

Jolly people, it is once again the "I hate" season in my narrow-hearted world.

I hate super duper fuber luber hell-lot of stuffs now. Whatever, my annoying self is still No.1. I have no idea how can someone get so frustrated with one self. Hmph.

Anyway, I hate this little spot here; reminding me how worthless my memories are.

And I am here to declare I am the lousiest grand-daughter of the century. I miss you, grandma.

I can't handle life, neither death. I am so sorry...

For a change, I am going livejournal. Bye.

My dearest Grandma...

2009-02-02T23:17:00.003+08:00

Too short for a proper goodbye.

Overflowing of tears, tightening of chest, aching of hearts; she was in pain.

Grandma, you didn't even tell us where you are going. Gonggong cried, he misses you.

We all do.

I just wish for a minute more to keep you warm. I miss you. Please come into my dreams.

NIU your head!

2009-01-26T23:55:00.002+08:00

(Not a happy post.)

I don't know why; I feel an unknown, powderfully-strong angst within me. And it feels especially terrible on such supposed-happy occasion, for I can't sincerely express myself through rolling-of-eyes-etc-actions and go-and-***-la-etc-lines. :/

I feel so highly volatile.

But yeah, first, I have to know WHY? I hate it when I don't know answer to my own problem. (lets just say, normally, i do know. but again, abnormality is such a norm. boo.)

URRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~

Now I feel so ultimately-depressed. This is bad... this is bad... this is bad...

Mayday!

2009-01-18T01:08:00.007+08:00

An event that cannot be missed. Even if it takes hours to 1)queue, 2)queue and 3)queue again, standing for 2.5hours through the blast of music and shrieks of electric guitar. It is all worth for...

MAYDAY!

This was the 1)queue; for the tickets. So.Not.Fun. For the very-unpro me, I did not equip myself well enough with entertainments to keep myself occupied through the hours. No books, no pokers, no nothing. Favourited NDS was not very available and anyway, I was stuck in Phoenix Wright then, at some stage where I can't "HOLD IT!". Blah! But yeah, the Ticket was everything! A free Mayday concert! Definitely an unleashed of fangirl-ism. Hohoho~ Eh... for those who have yet to been a Mayday concert... tsktsk, you won't understand the adrenaline rush.

The (free) Concert! I can't help to emphasize that it is a free concert, the aunty-ism in me never dies. It was really really good. (Except that GuanYou wasn't there, BUT I really like The Drummer playing that day. Hahaha!) They played songs which I really like and Ashin sounds so electrifying as usual. Woohoo! Never in any other concert you would be able to see Singaporeans waving their arms and forming letters just as told. There were thousands of light sticks too. It was superb! Ashin was really gooooood! Hahaha. The aftermath was sore legs plus ringing ears. But yeah, Ashin was really goooooooood! :D

Yeah, just for a handshake from him! (Pictures were snapped mercilessly at him, using Mrs Monster's cam. Haha.)

I think a big part of this entry is incomprehensible, if you just don't understand what's the big deal. But, oh wells, at least the graphics I've done up are really quite-pretty right? (: Credits to fellow Mayday-ians for the pictures.

A good beginning

2009-01-13T18:43:00.004+08:00

A very late HELLO to 2009 (here)! As it claims to a brand new year... but err, it feels nothing like one. Yeah, besides my very-mundane-boring daily schedule of lectures and tuitions, I'm having so much fun with the same old people! :D

Some events which I ought to blog about... (soon!)

MAYDAY freeeeeeee concert
Cindy's 21st! (disastrously fun~)
June's Bday Dinner (steamingly hilarious! hahahaa)
Vivien's 21st! (omg, so very-vivien!)

Hohohooooo. :D:D:D Life is good! Just that I have ultimate unglam photos lurking around in the stupid site; facebookdotcom. And I am ultimate dumb when it comes to using that site.

I.Just.Don't.Know.How!

I have given up on ALL the application-shits (nobody bothers about that already, right?), still trying to reply people through walls (errr... HUH? HOW? WHAT? I don't even quite know how to reply messages in inbox. hahahaa!), still don't know if it is morally-correct to untag ZOMG-unglam photos which very-nice friends have tagged mui. Haha!

So yeah, basically, I guess I am just so momentarily paralyze whenever I arrive at facebookdotcome, upon seeing the unglam photos of mui, mui and mui! Like you know, so-completely horrified that my fingers can't click.

Hahahahaaa, still the same old mui; I can't stop when complaining starts.

Dearest 2008

2008-12-31T16:49:00.004+08:00

2008, you are still left with 7hours and 11minutes.

You didn't start off great, and not anywhere near. A few minutes after you declared the following 365days to be yours, you arranged to me to meet up with this guy whom I later spent 1/12 of you to hangout/phonecall/forget this particular someone. That was January.

Thankfully, you were extremely non-exciting during February, March and April. Days were spent counting down to prelims, dreading prelims, procrastinating, (apparently the studying part was missing as a whole), and lastly, kena killed by prelims. (屮ﾟДﾟ)屮!

There came my favourite month, which turned out to be not-so favourited. MA(IN EXAMS)Y. But still, I had a blessed birthday. Thank you, friends. (:

I guess I loved you best at June. There was zero studies and work commitment. Holiday to BKK was checked off from my list of TO-DOs. Heh heh heh.

However, it is a known fact; Happiness doesn't last. I was sucked back to reality and workaholism began. July and August were... empty and that was depressing.

You took me on a roller-coaster ride in September. I was apparently brought to the peak of my ultimate suayness. Then, there was a chain of amusing unfortunates but after all woo-has and whatnots, the month ended greeeeeat; I'd got pretty cool results. Ohya, Twilight came into my life then too. Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

It hitted me bad when I realised I had only one-quarter of you left, 2008. But instead of looking forward, I took a wrong turn by looking back; I missed 120504. I swallowed salty tears and went ahead to delete the years of memories. October, I didn't like this part of you too...

I guess I am best being back as Miss Practical, looking things as matter-of-fact. I-bloody-regret-!!!-incidents were greatly cutdown and I am really glad about it. November and December were spent peacefully with self.

You didn't turn out to be that bad afterall, except pretty wasted. I could have done alot more, like accumulating good karmas, opening of mind to experience more, keeping friends closer to heart... You know, I am tired of seeing of all the missed opportunity. Like you (2008), no one and nothing waits for me.

I am not going to end this year with a bang. Just going to spend the last few moments alone, hopefully with a cup of hot non-atas coffee and my '09 organiser. Because I know I need to plan my following 365 days much better.

2008 was a year about understanding of self, discovering what I really want/ want to be/ want to be remembered by people, learning to pick myself up from falls, growing up. I think I really appreciate what time has taught me. But wells, it never waits.

Good Bye, 2008!

A full bloom (sick) irritant

2008-12-26T23:15:00.003+08:00

A few days ago...

I was really really really sick.

That didn't make me any bit pitiful, likable, or rather submissively nice. (You know, like weak people always have this kindof aura of being submissively nice...) Instead, I irks everyone when I am sick.

Everything doesn't make sense when I am sick. The ZOMG-senseless thing is why do I have to go and see a doctor? Yes, keywords are 'go and see'! Beyond these 3 pathetic words, they meant... waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaiTwaITwAITWAITWAITWAIT. WHY DO A VERY-SICK PERSON HAVE TO WAIT?

Of cos, I knew I had to see a doctor then, 'cos self medication didn't work and I was running a temperature. At this point of time, I wouldn't not even care if you offer $50 for me to fake a smile. I felt really horrible. I had to see a doctor. So, the wait began...

First, the lift. It took bloody long to reach, that few seconds just draaaaaaaagggg... I didn't even have the strength to push the lift button impatiently repeatedly, not that it is going to help, but I can't even express my impatience! Ok, so very-sick people HAVE to wait for lift, and CANNOT express impatience. Next, the walk to the clinic. I took bloody long to walk, my steps grew increasingly slow and weak that I can't even stand it! Ok, so very-sick people HAVE to travel on feet at very lousy speed. Lastly, the most unbearable of all, the bloody wait at the clinic!

The doctor took at least 10 minutes for every patient. If you think that sounds reasonable... do some maths. This will mean only 6 (max) in one hour. So, imagine you are the 7th, you have to wait for 1 hour (=60 minutes=360 seconds, remember how I cursed the stupid lift for taking that few seconds to reach me?). Anyway, I was "9" for my queue, but only waited through about 4 people, and they didn't look any bit sick, that made me terribly sore. Throughout the horrendous wait, I chanted this very-bad line... "我要死了.我要死了.我要死了.我要死了.我要死了.我要死了.我要死了.我要死了..." depressingly. Slowly, all the not-quite-sick/quite-sick/never-very-sick strangers started to sit all away from me, that made me a little happier. Ohya, my mum gave up correcting me and let me be that full-bloom irritant.

"我要死了.我要死了.我要死了.我要死了.我要死了.我要死了.我要死了.我要死了..." and so I continued.

Finally, it was my turn! This should feel like winning TOTO, but I was too pissed at the VERY-SLOW doctor. I planned to demand some sort of explainations from Dr. Slow and tell him how important it is for him to be faster, so he can cure more 要死了-patients like me. Just when the very-nasty me opened the door, I put all my thoughts away, I just need him to save me! As expected, he said my conditions were critical but I was really not anywhere near dying. Horror of all horrors, my consultation only took less than 3 minutes! whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! Feeling very sore about that, I sat there in daze for a few seconds to think of weird questions to ask. "Are you sure 我真的不会死了?"

Told you, my fever was really high.

Twilight (The Movie)

2008-12-15T14:03:00.003+08:00

TWILIGHT!

(i've watched it, i've watched it, i've watched it!)

The movie was pretty awesome. But, was it as good as the book? Definitely, no. But again, it is really quite a kick to see some scenes coming very-alive. Edward's smiles and voice dazzle (hello, Twilight lingo kae!) madly.

The movie ended up very choppy for me; details were seriously missing. But, I can't think how it could have been any better! The cast, the places the movie was shot, the main plot... all followed close enough to the story. Those who quite-like the movie should really read the book. (gee. i can't help but to drag people in...) Think - happenings MORE, explainations to reactions MORE, development of other characters MORE, romance more more MORE.

These scenes were soooo goooood... (self note)
entrance of the Cullen family, the very first time Edward spoke, confrontation (that is if you know what this scene is... it is better than the book!), Edward in sunglass.

I feel so sorry for the romance-junkie binx. I laughed (or rather snicker) so much during the movie, especially during scenes she really liked. Just the very mismatch of POVs. Hoho. I find all the cheesy-ness amusing, yet nice at the same time. (: Like...

Forever Begins Now

i have no idea how i picked up this book so nonchalantly. Stephenie Meyer is so amazing. for the very-down-to-earth-me, i don't think i can let go of this very-unrealistic novel that easily.

Twilight

2008-12-11T11:29:00.006+08:00

TWILIGHT

She would have love, and friendship, and family—an enviable human future. But she chooses Edward over all of this. This makes it real for me; their love.

It depicts an almost-true Forever, a definition of infinity and all. Breathtakingly beautiful.

(coming real real soon!)

ps. i can't wait to see the meadow scene. ah ah ah!

Artificial preference

2008-12-09T14:39:00.003+08:00

I am very sure I can kill someone with my hair now. It smelt of some deadly-poisonous-arrr-mooo-niaaaa. -face turn purple-

On a lighter note, I have touched up my unsightly black roots, dyed it natural dark brown. (few days ago kae! but the awful smell just won't go away. >=/)

I insist of using all artificials to enhance natural look. Haha. I don't know what's my problem. That's me.

Blah!

That's Gender Discrimination

2008-12-06T00:58:00.003+08:00

Tanned Asian Chick has 1000+ friends, and 155 albums of photos on her FB! That's really inspiring...

but...

Miss Taehhhhhhhhh~~~ is totally amazing! I have no idea how many friends she has, BUT she has 9 mutual friends with me; none is F for gender. Yeah, not even befriending Tanned Asian Chick.

Just like I can never figure out how to fix a rubix cube, I don't understand this too. -shrugs-

Losing grip

2008-12-05T14:01:00.003+08:00

crazy days...

thirstday: SITEX
frightday: SITEX
shatterday: SITEX
sadday: SITEX
moanday: lecture, work, daddy's birthday dinner
tearsday: lecture, work, tuition
wasteday: lecture, work, tuition
thirstday: work, hw's birthday dinner
frightday: lecture, work, tuition

note: foreign talents scared the shit outta me during lectures. they made me feel ultimate stupid, ultimate ignorant, ultimate myopic; a pure breed bimbo. I swear I am going to study this sadday, or I am a wu gui- round and ugly! grrrrrrr!

2008-12-05T00:49:00.003+08:00

2008-11-29T23:38:00.003+08:00

mui hates everione. everionexXxXx :(((((!!!!

may all the "I hate..." statements go away. i can't stand the angst within me either. please, take everything away!

urrrrrrgggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2008-11-26T18:33:00.009+08:00

If you have not seen me for quite sometime...

just a quick update for the very busy me/you that i have been... *inhale DEEPLY* workingasapromoter,aconferencehelper,tutor, andibanklikenotomorrowforonlineshopping,spreesandmoresprees, endingupwithalotofshortdresseswhichicantwearandidontknowwhattodowiththem, andgoogleing,foruming,phinging,ebayingforanewphone'cosseriously,icantstandmyuglysilverchunkyphone, andyes,soihavechangedmyphonetoasexyV9,whichisoflousy2megapixel;makingmeanon-camwhore, andseenwuzunwhoisthehandsome-estguyeveralive,andyes,hewavedatmekae,thatwastotalcheapthrill, andcaughtMADAGASCAR2whichmademego ILIKETOMOVEITMOVEIT,HELIKETOMOVEITMOVEIT,SHELIKETOMOVEITMOVEIT,YOULIKETOMOVEIT!andofcos,iamstillwaitingforTWILIGHT,thoughithinkrobertpattisonisquitearetard, asseeninhisrecentinterviews,andihavecutdownonvirtualstalking'cossomethingisbreakingmyheart,
whichishantblabberhere,andifyouarestillfollowingtillhere,ithinkyoushouldsmsmetoletmeknow, sothaticanthankyouforyourconcern,andthenicanentertainyoufurther'cosithinkyouareprettybored.

I swear I said those above all in one breath. Love you, whoever needs love.

2008-11-25T12:54:00.002+08:00

No good, not good. You don't seem to be able to appreciate what you have in your hands.

Can things be ever good enough for you?

Be contented, you horrible greedy creature. -glare!-

2008-11-21T15:01:00.001+08:00

TWILIGHT MOVIEEEEE IS OUT!

Not in Singapore though :/

See, life is full of :/s. (Haha!)

2008-11-20T20:28:00.002+08:00

After all, I have a high tolerance for pain.

But, still, I need guide in Emotion Management. Anyone?

So tired. :/

2008-11-17T23:39:00.002+08:00

Like being completely drenched from the downpour is never enough, I have to be struck by a bolt of lightning too. Combo hits.

I am rubbing my fat nose off. Me hate Runny nose. And yeah, I am struck by sudden stiff neck. VERY PAIN! urrrrggeeeeeeeeee~

2008-11-14T22:41:00.002+08:00

Well, somebody lied again. Not to me, but, I am in context. *shrugs*

I am sick. It feels extremely cold, weak and very weak this time. May the yellow pill do some miracle. I am not prepared to fall.

2008-11-12T00:37:00.002+08:00

Oh well, I have zero luck with UOL. They sent me the wrong study guide again.

So, I have 2 Financial Reporting guides to burn and drink for my 3rd year. Anyone need extra copy?

I am starting to think that my unfortunate events are amusing. :/

2008-11-11T00:23:00.005+08:00

deeeeeeeeeeeepressing!

'cos i dont know wheres everyone anymore.

2008-11-09T00:47:00.002+08:00

I have been OTAKU-fied. You can flood me with hundreds of synonyms of lonesome; all describe my life perfectly well.

I am so bored that I am playing dress-up doll game with my Taiko-baby.

ever-ready-to-zao-sai, jack sparrow♥, rocked micheal phelps

Just some pictures to colour this space, and I shall do some outdated updates... soon.

Ohya... did I tell you that I really adore HALLOWEEN? *twist*

2008-11-03T11:45:00.003+08:00

The Disappearance

appetite
half a thousand dollar over 2 weeks (no, i have yet to get the Gucci strap.)
hair growth
double eyelids
DBS iB secure device

The loss of appetite is the most upsetting of all. Gone were the day when I could wolf down LOTSSSSSSSSSS of edible stuffs, with my double chin wobbling. Wells, my double chin is still creating turbulence, though I am in such ultimatelousy appetite. Last check, I merely swallowed food for dinner on entire saturday and sunday.

No more obscene desires for sinful food.

It must be pure laziness or depression. I don't even know what hitted me this time round.

Conclusion: I derive most happiness from food. Now that my appetite is gone, everything is sinking in... urrrrrggggggeeeeeeee.

2008-10-29T23:25:00.005+08:00

I swear I really love 阿信.

I have finally deleted everything. Be it just a few clicks of actions, it took a lot.

Memories were being shared by too many individuals, they disgust me, they don't belong to me. I am so sorry to be so loser-ish.

2008-10-27T01:14:00.004+08:00

I saw the TWILIGHT posters outside Lido Shaw House!

*EGGCITED!!!*

it better be good. it better be good. it better be good. please don't spoil the beautiful novel.

Alrighty. Anyway, it has been a crazy day, a crazy bimbotic day. It was Great Eaters Women 1000KG for the dual bimbos, a substitute event if you can't run the 10KM. But, ohwells, we walked quite a fair bit too besides all the eatings. cine>taka>wisma>shawhouse>dfs>fareast>swensens>centrepoint>thecannery>OO>clarkequaymrt
*excessive eatings
*excessive twirling around
rest are merely passing by (っ´__｀)っ
End of the day, I am left with numbed chopsticks-legs and cracked kneecaps!

Anyway, I am going to kiss goodbye to my old levi's jeans (which i look terrible in) and trading it for a new pair... at $50 cheaper. Tomorrow is the last day for this good deal! So, that means, lots of pulling ups and downs, sucking in of tummy, complaints of flat butts, ultimate fricklemindedness, which all equates to PISSING OFF THE SALES PERSON BIG TIME.

*shrugs* I can't help it too.

(just read the promo again, it is trading of old jeans of any brand. time to showcase those pasar malum jeans man. hahahaha~)

2008-10-26T03:51:00.002+08:00

(っ´Д｀)っ wuu wuu wuu~

insomnia is sucking my life away...

2008-10-23T23:42:00.002+08:00

Money can buy happiness. Plenty of it.

I am dropping out of the chase for intangibles. They get out of hand, too easily. *big boo*

2008-10-22T23:03:00.006+08:00

"What the fuck is this?" I swear this thought screamed so loud in my head that my skull cracked.

I stared into the screen in disbelief.

You have no idea how much you had taken away from me. I despise two-face. I despise pretender. I despise outright liar.

I despise myself who can't get over the past.

But you are off limit.

He shone, fame took a part of him away. You took a little-little part of him away. I don't know how. Then, she took a little part of him away. He was shaken. She moved him, she took every part of him away.

(Yes, even if nothing happened, I would still lose him, but...)

These are the only memories I had of 'us'. I can no longer build them, I can no longer recompose them, I can no longer derive any emotions from them... or rather, I am not supposed to. I know my limits.

So, can I, the very least, be allowed to keep these... these very little memories, belonging to me. Mine. That little doodle I did. Little, but it means alot.

Please do not take any part away. It can't be shared.

I am at lost with this very out-of-control emotion. I felt robbed. I felt dug out. I felt pain. I am shaking with fear, dont-know-what-to-do, tears... How did all the crazy crying start again...

http://bot-tledup.blogspot.com/2008/03/gave-everything-away.html

Do you have something that mean so much?

2008-10-19T23:23:00.002+08:00

I feel terrible. Terribly sad. Depression is kicking in...

I WANT TO KICK IT BACK! ;___;

2008-10-14T17:33:00.003+08:00

Today, I woke up in tears. The only thing I remember from that dream was mouthing helplessly to him, "You think I hasn't tried hard enough?...".

Still the only one who can trigger tears.

The crying following which was horrible. It proves the point that water makes up 70% of human body. I feel so emptied out.

When there is completely zero wishes for anything, why is it still so difficult to 'move on'? Somebody has to enlighten me on this.

I don't understand.

2008-10-11T00:27:00.006+08:00

Everyone should love falsies (i mean fake eyelashes here), they make eyes so much visible. I need to reduce the chance of looking ridiculous with 90% of my face covering with baaaaa! (baaaaa = meat in hokkien)

Speaking of falsies, it is quite a misused word. Do check out what is the real falsies. (pun intended) They come in a pair too, and I should embrace them, too! Haha! In any sense, I think IF 'falsies' is the slang for false hope, I am a real falsies-lover.

Everyone lives happier in denial and pretence. I am not 100% pro of the latter though; Putting up a strong front - Yes. To be someone you are not - No. Make effort to forget about old love - Yes. Hooking up with people to forget about old love - No. Change friendster/facebook status for entertainment sake - Yes. Change friendster/facebook status for attention sake - No. yadayadayada... In either way, a reality check will suck you pretty much down to earth, you will weigh 10000kg then.

But still, a small supply of false hope is healthy for The Very Ugly Reality. If you say "No thanks, I don't need!", you are quite an optimist, or rather the King of the land of self-denial. Keep a few dosages of falsies, it may help during emergency of reality check.

(Anyway, I do have fake eyelashes on in the above few pics. The C label foundation featured in the 2nd is some lousyshits. I have no idea if it clogs less pores, gives a matt look or what, but it does almost zero coverage for my zomg-skin. Good for you if you want some natural look *raise right brow*, not for me. Told ya, I am a real falsies-lover. I think I will end up wearing a mask out soon. Hmph!)

They should rewrite definition for "false"; it brings hope. O:)

2008-10-08T23:13:00.002+08:00

I have a friend who is happy 'cos she paid $2.10 instead of $3.55.

She is Bimbo J.

HAHAHAHA!!! We love cheap thrills.

p.s. the reaction was kindof classic too. don't bother to imagine, you are no where near. $ﾟ∀ﾟ$

2008-10-03T16:19:00.003+08:00

I hate this thing; FATE.

(... sounds a little like fat. Anyway, yesterday, I nonchalantly stepped on this weighing machine... which made me totally uncool after a few seconds. The digits ran really fast and made my eyes popped a little. I swear I really heard the machine screamed "FIFTY TWO POINT EIGHTTTT!!!!" at me. I pushed myself off almost immediately and my expression read; u n b e l i e v a b l e! Bimbo J roared into laughters and hopped like a cute little white rabbit onto the machine. She weighs much lighter. I still could not compose myself, my mind was flooded with mental image of me wolfing down with my double chin wobbling. Feeling so ultimate dejected, I wanted drag myself away but I felt pretty much stucked. Then, something hitted me. MY BAG WAS ON ME!!! I let out a little gasp and threw my bag off, and of cos, jumped onto the idiotic machine! TADA~ I float throughout the day afterwhich. Heh! This is an ultimate bimbotic and aneorexic moment. But you must understand, the weight increase will only mean one thing - my face is expanding its radius, again! I am a complete walking lollipop la. Tsk!)

FATE is a complete delusion! I am such a cow for falling and drawing conclusions from it.

I despise it most when Fate sets someone to cross my path. Because, somehow, with some conspiracy, it never fail to work very well with his accomplice Coincidence.

Some incident would bring me to remember this particular person from the past, then TAAAAAAAH~~~ I bumped into him soon after, at somewhere somehow. This happened 3 times, which and whom I deemed significant.

1st, Orange Daisy (quite a missed friend) came into station platform in the midst of some sabotage-y game, I was greatly amused. Then, I texted him...

2nd, Deep Voice lined up right infront of me in a bus queue, he didn't smell very pleasant, and just when I was about to tsk this stranger, he turned and I smiled. He was my 2nd degree friend. Then, we exchanged a few lines...

3rd, Killer Jaw (someone I went gaga over ever since i met him years ago). And very recently, *insert 3-minutes incident*...

All ended up with a silent answer "I am just crossing your path. So, Hi and Bye!". If such coincidence is thaaaat meaningless, skip that few seconds, I would have missed you then.

So much for being a spinster and a cow, I delude myself too much. Just, don't bother. TSK!

2008-10-01T22:53:00.002+08:00

am depressed because of a 3-minutes thing. cant believe it held my breath for approx. 180 seconds. displayed ultimate idiotcy.

no breathing -> no oxygen intake -> no brain cell functioning. (make complete sense!)

i am superficial. his physique, i like.

an almost stranger.

urrrrrrrggggggeeeeeee. i hate the little chance for my mental-age-zero-act. i am still quite lack of oxygen now... *inhales deeply*

someone explains the adrenaline rush. i dont understand.

2008-09-30T00:56:00.002+08:00

i am always so dead when it comes to killer jaw.

FEEL SO ULTIMATE THROW FACE NOW. i wantttttttt toooooo die!

2008-09-21T23:10:00.002+08:00

i REALLY wonder where/how ALL MY BAD LUCKS (ok, i know it is never plural) accumulated from.

suay, suay-ed, and still suay-ing to the max. everyday.

i am pretty sure it isn't bad karma, unless you count the (very) evil thoughts in my mind from time to time... but hey! i shut my lips tight and do nothing kae. i am behaving well.

yesterday, i even directed an old man to somewhere he wanted to go... using my ultimate-broken hokkien. see, i am nice. WHERES MY GOOD KARMA?!

or maybe the old man got lost because of me. he must have cursed me then...

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2008-09-14T20:23:00.003+08:00

This holiday I...

... embarked on an absolute non-exciting working life. A behind the desk job. Nothing imaginative, just don't get caught dozing off. Opportunities are given generously and soon I shook off staples, hole puncher, paperclips which were practically hanging from me in the first week, real human communications begin then. I met great successful people, and surprisingly, they are also the nicest. IQ and EQ really come in pair.

Boot Licker: WOW. Nice shirt!
First VP enters and smirks.
Office Lady: (let out a snort) Hur... makes him looks like a playboy.
First VP: (turns around, hands on tt OL) Oh really? Where are we heading tonight then?

... became a workaholic, or was it a cow? An normal week duty consists of 5 working days and 6 tuition sessions. Randomly, I have worked through 2 IT fairs and 1 event, in all, making up 10 days. I feel stupid to be a slave for $ sign, giving up bimbotic time with gfriends. Worst, all these sacrificial are paid at indecently low per hour rate. I am such a cow.

... had a getaway, like what holiday is truly meant for! BKK is finally strike off from the list, but definitely a must to return.

... exercised. The 10km Singapore Bay Run was really something for me.

... ran out of luck, unless you count bad-luck in too. Other than the result-less state that I landed myself in, I scorn at my other mishaps. You can officially call my number for help if you, contracted urinary tract infection, struck by sudden stiff neck, and recently added - food poisoning. I can pretty much explain and tell you what to do in layman's terms, just in case you get as hysteric as I did.

... been told of butterfly tales, which makes me wonder when I will stop reading and start living. He spells Life so differently, though not exactly correctly.

... am still a spinster. Ah ha, I am getting giddy with all the spinning.

I am bidding goodbye to this little short break with zero emotion. BYE! (' w ' )

2008-09-12T17:17:00.003+08:00

I am bloody angry at myself.

For believing words of SUMI. For depending on the VERY screwed up system. For taking things way too easy. For laughing with people at my results-less state. For WAITING and NOT doing anything to find out how screwed the situation I am in.

(Note: calling & flooding emails = NOT doing anything. Because things just END there.)

I decided that being nasty, getting hysteric, pressing the matter real hard, isnt gonna get the problem anywhere near solved. But I am SO WRONG.

I should have reacted violently days ago.

ME HATE ME. I totally blame it on myself.

I almost forgot that swallowing tears causes that much pain.

Of cos, not literally licking off stupid salty tears. (Yes, everytime i cry, i cry so much that know it tastes so, and till it becomes bland as i lose my senses.)

If you have ever tried so hard to hold back your tears, and especially angry tears, you will know how much it burns your throat.

I am really boiling mad at myself. I regard this as the worst emotion, since I have been alone more than ever.

I want to scream!

2008-09-06T23:58:00.003+08:00

oh man, im all in love with Edward again, the name. like how it begins with E then d, w, a, r, and lastly d. the spelling and how it sounds. it must be the no.1 boy name i really like.

of cos, im quite poisoned by Twilight. i kept reading and i couldnt stop. though i think only the dark romance part is very intriguing. some parts were disappointing. im a lil old for the for-youth story, anyway.

(with me working like a cow, im thankful for the me-time i have. reading is quite a luxury now.)

a part of me jumps for the comingsoon movie. but... that Edward isnt quite near to the Edward i had in mind. perfection isnt the same for everyone. and also, the whole crew looks unfamilar. but again, i dont even know who i am anticipating (not as if i really know of any ang mo actors/actresses to fit them into my mind as i read). i really like those unknowns whom i have pictured though, all of them together.

(i dig wikipedia. shoots. i just found out the film release of Half-Blood Prince is pushed back cos of Twilight? eh, gay. HP should really come first. favourited fantasyyyyy~)

i still cant quite get over Edward.

suddenly, i dont mind being ghostly white.

hah. i need the next book.

ramblings

2008-09-05T10:33:00.005+08:00

developing the web is crazily tidious. at least 50 more pages and hundred of links to go. and i think at the end of the day, the checking will kill. but still, the sense of achievement is really quite something.

there is a list of things which are unavailable to me. top on list; mui results. (屮ﾟДﾟ)屮!!! but again, i may not feel abit comforted even if i get them back. i just feel kinda sick being stuck in this situation.

i am seriously obsessed with earning money. in not-so-smart-way. now, i feel like a cow, 'cos i work like one.

i find joy in reading once again. *dumps away nds*

independence is not really an option ~~sometimes~~ most of the time.

i don't know since when, but life has been driven by some unknown factors which i dare not to find out further. Hopes. i should stop before disappointment shamelessly tags along.

i cant believe i resorted to "hows school" just to get the conversation going. i wished alot more.

ZHONG QIU JIE! should be celebrated! *stuffs mooncakes*

/edited: i think it is kinda perfect. this 555th post on the, once familar, 5th. yes, so what i still cant get over this 5renzy. dont blame me.

unexciting sim results day

2008-09-02T16:51:00.002+08:00

this is what i see.

followed by 4 big fat blue boxes at the bottom. thought of many possibilities for this and ended up with just one conclusion: I am a ~~sui~~ suay char bo!

or maybe they should just place O$P$ big and bloody red at the very front page of my portal so i know it is my failure of payment that leads to the withheld of my results.

i really have zero idea what is happening. (sound very familar hur. What Happened?)

for now, i can only flood poor Sumi (programme executive) with emails and bomb her phone. my thoughts are swimming very (very very) wildly.

/rawr

so not exciting.

2008-08-27T23:54:00.004+08:00

horror of all horrors. i realise i will be working for consecutive 12 days. GG.

IT fair tomorrow. i am so gonna stock up food at my booth. sigh. depressing. i just want to eat everything away.

2008-08-25T14:47:00.000+08:00

(i really wish i swam, for the sake of michael phelps, but ya...) i did the 10km singapore bay run! :D dated 24th aug 2008.

surprisingly, it was quite manageable. timing wasnt anywhere near targeted because of the fair bit of walking. but the experience is good! all thanks to fellow humans who encouraged us (unwilling ones) to join. really! my first long dist run, and definitely won't be my last.

how about 21km before i turn 21 lao char bo? i need company.

anyway, im admitting defeat to my bimbo-ness. dear E and CH, we should have seriously done our warm up. if not, the very least, some cooling down exercise! (and not the clearing of mud from our shoes la!) now, i feel as though my muscles are being stretched constantly. having real problem laughing hard. what an aftermath.

ohwells. this triggered my aunty-ness. i bought SALONPAS today! haha. not sure if it is going to help, but the packaging looks kindof pretty (pink) and it claims to be scent-less. heh. shall try it after i get home, have dinner, rush to tuition, scold the kid, rush back home, watch my "看你这个鬼样子！" (10pm show), bath... yeah, then i shall plaster myself with those. i am a busy woman. i cant wait to sleep. =/

anyway, lets go back to yesterday again. after the run, we walked around, ate, and i WALL-E-ed excessively. i have no idea where the energy came from, but WALL-E-ing is highly addictive. you can try it now; say WALL-E... (repeat)

so much for the wall-e saga (no, we havent watch tt show), we went separate ways. i went home, bathed (ok, in fact i washed my muddy shoes, dirty clothes, shoe bag which was 1/6 soaked with soup-of-the-day because i was a retard to realise. anyway, i feel accomplished!) i was seduced by my messy bed, but still, i gathered my tired bones, dressed up and got outta house to attend the evening concert by ntu band.

i still love band. and my fellow dearest band mates. i miss performing. i miss the bond.

like always, after watching a band performance, i reminisce. quite a sick habit i must say. it is just a better word to replace "bloody-regret".

(this post is getting real long. but im just gonna rattle on. it has been quite long since i last blog like this... mundane plus complaint-y.)

anyway, back to the concert night. it was nice, seeing friends performing and enjoying themselves on stage. HSH pooled herself a big group of supporters, definitely a true reflection of the efforts she put in. gooooooood job! :D and then THW too! good for her that she cheated rose and cookie from C & me. she had such a great time biting off face of the f.amos lolli.

hoping around with C & THW was so good. i miss times like this. (sidenote; THW is such a good fellow otaku. we are no longer ~~despos~~. haha.)

also, tt night, i had a little crush on nice hair. (see, im so truthful. i suppose no one is really following till here.) i dont know if i really did see the hair as a separate from the being, but i guess such things dont really need to be explained, or rather, cant be explained. quite alot of thoughts swim (heh :D) through my mind, but the main question is again "What Happened?". the lost of msn contact and mobile number really did cause alot of trouble hur? makes people come and go more easily. but then... we are never that good to being with. sigh. fateless encounters.

now that im still thinking about it... i have a little doubt about it being just a little crush. (blah)

this week is pretty crazy. i will be working 10hours everyday, mon-sun. my sis asked if i am intending to splurge on some branded... but i think no. im just obsessed with earning and saving money now.

i have minimal emotions.

2008-08-21T17:58:00.001+08:00

it is nice to be important. but it is more important to be nice.

most important, be doubly nice and click on the AD>>> twice.

HEH! :D

2008-08-21T17:21:00.002+08:00

okay, i am going to spell out my thoughts.

M-Y T-H-O-U-G-H-T-S

there you go. but human mind is never that simple.

thinking back, i was quite a crazy woman. throughout the relationship, 'breaking up' is constantly up in my head. not that it is a decision, but i worry/think about whenwhatwhyhow about it. (at least, 'who' isnt in the question, i know it is gonna be me and that unlucky fellow la.) i dont know why, but i never see 'happily ever after' as an option. perhaps, we were never that happy to begin with. but that is not the point, and neither "i am a lousy lover." the thing is; i am a worrywart.

the better the thing goes, the wilder my thoughts ~~run~~ swim. (for michael phelps, swim shall be my top verb!)

it is more likely that i will bring along an umbrella on an ultra sunny day, as compared to any normal day. not that i am obsessed with my ghostly white complexion, but i just dont wish to be caught in a rain, despite it being least expected. i tend to be more cautious, when things are seemingly perfect. good thing being, i am prepared for a slump. bad thing being, worries precedes all and nothing turns out good. and so, im pretty doom for a slump!

pessimism is a killer. it discourages, strays, wets, and in my opinion, it is pessimism that sucks you to the centre of the earth. i must have weigh 1000kg then.

okay, i think i am still a crazy woman. :O!

2008-08-19T17:07:00.002+08:00

What did the Blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"

i dig blonde jokes (;

2008-08-12T17:52:00.004+08:00

M is for Michael Phelps!

the word 'swimming' only excites me once every 4 years. and of cos, the swimmers. HEH:D their build are really stunning (both males and females, i dont only ogle at male species k). i guess the only normal sight is when they are lined up in their lanes by the pool. cant imagine any of them trying to fit into an empty seat slot in our mrt. too bad for their shoulders.

anyway, michael is my new heartthrob. haha! (yet another one hur~) he is really amazing. not only is he emerging out of world's bests, his current gold medals are accompanied by straight breakings of world records, which were already his. duper fast and powerful.

on a side note, athletes keep breaking records (note, their obssessions with timing, length, mass, points... etc) and that makes me wonder about human's limits. what can ever be deemed as the best-est, and never will be succeeded? never i guess. records are meant to be broken. (eh, is it supposed to be "promises are meant to be broken"? haha. anyway, <- that is complete bullshit!)

back to such competitive races, i'm glad hundredth of a second is still enough, for now. it is quite a scary thought for humans to compete even to thousandth of a second, like a siao! cheers to US's victory by the few hundredths second, earning michael phelps' second gold medal. that particular relay was real excitingshit, i bet michael was hysteric being on the verge of losing his golden-8 dream. thankfully, Jason Lezak, the old man, saved the day.

many are predicting the number of golds he will be getting. of cos, i hope an 8! time to beat the record of 7 golds at one Olympics! someone cuter should take over that title. haha.

for asia, korea's Park Tae-Hwan is surprisingly good... and cute. haha. in anyway, no one should chap in and mess with michael's golds!

but i do wonder if such passion ever dies. i cant remember anything not becoming a chore once it becomes a duty to fulfill.

p.s. i am a B, who cant swim. haha!

2008-08-10T19:52:00.006+08:00

once again, hello million-less life. (you are boring!)

and pardon for the ignorance. i shouldn't have forgotten about MY nation's birthday. at the very least, she produces the very suave Black Knights. :D

to celebrate , let me share this of our very own. haha. very amusing!
A: You're so stupid!
B: You den stupid la.
A: You're late!
B: You den late hor.
(somehow i think we sound very gl. ahem.)

i love singapore for the proper roads, for being safe, for being so $$ driven (in someway it is good i suppose), for being small and cosy. (:

singapore is definitely good for someone like me, who doesnt remember roads, of zero direction sense, cant find way out of anywhere. thankfully, streetdirectory.com is back.

though "i want to get outta singapore!" is constantly ringing in my mind, that is just my screams for holiday (-noun; a time or period of exemption from any requirement, duty, assessment, etc)!

because, there is no place like home. (:

2008-08-08T14:56:00.003+08:00

how can i miss this date? zero eight zero eight zero eight.

i dont know since when or why i start to take note of this kind of recurring-digits-date, and deem them as special. perhaps these dates are only left with 4 (090909, 101010, 111111, 121212)? haha. how lame but im secretly getting excited for these uper cool dates. something beautiful and nice should happen, and i shall pray for that. (;

070707
NANAday. that is for NANA fanatics... speaking of which, i was somesort like one too. haha.

060606
the devil's number. did birthrate plunge that day?

050505
MAYday. and i guess this is why i fell in love... with recurring number, especially five.

and yes, back to the big fat hot-favourited lucky 8! everyone is planning something for this date. Beijing Olympics is setted to start off today, at, again, 8:08:08pm. mummy-to-be planning to get cut up, or to squeeze their babies out, for their specially selected birth-day. NOT to forget, the 8 million TOTO draw tonight. and yes, thats my only plan; wait and tio! haha. i should get rewarded for my faith!

i think it is rather interesting to think back what you were doing at this very day last year. 080807, a cant-be-any-more-normal day. but i was late. late to reflect. late to make a change. late to speak. late to spell (out thoughts). late to decide. late to admit. simply, way too late for the realisation. for many who didnt know, i did ask him back. it was on the spur of the moment, the only time heart took over mind. but, sincerity was still late. and i was late to know you were already gone. it was a silly day. and never will i ever relive that day.

hmm... what about predicting the future? next year... i suppose i will still be counting the million worth of dollar notes under my blanket. :D assuming that i get REAL lucky tonight, and i have a really big blanket. haha.

if not, lets wait for 090909. just for the 9 million draw. heh. i like it when im so ~~$$-looking~~ forward-looking :D

2008-08-05T09:49:00.002+08:00

i shall tell no one whowhatwhichwherehow about this super hilarious jdrama; Absolute Boyfriend (Zettai Kareshi). crunchyroll's videos are pretty clear, and i totally adore the way that website for their organisation. but one thing, they remove videos promptly once it involves legal matters. no one should be such an *** and hesitate to watch that show. okay, i am not telling anything more.

yes, i know that the title sounds totally bimbotic. of cos, being sucha B major, i watch it. :D but seriously, the storyline is good. something out of the world... or rather the current world. maybe such home appliance will be available in the near future. it will be the best tool for spinster like me! again, technology is used in attempt to create perfection. okay, not saying anything more.

and of cos, im not going to tell you that Tenjo Night is real hot and cute. that alone is enough of the reason to watch that show. -bursting into lecherousspinsterish laughters-

okays. people dont watch that show kae. im halfway through that show. (kindof stuck too >:/ cos im too busy during weekdays. bumbum.) no one shall finish the show faster than me! no one shall share this little cheap thrill. BLAH!

='(

2008-08-03T23:14:00.002+08:00

dwelling on the past is no fun.

till now, you are still my only crying thought. seems like i am not emotionless afterall. and seriously, it has been really long enough. it scares me that i am still on the same step.

i dont even want anything now.

2008-07-26T23:46:00.003+08:00

The Dark Knight is so good. or should i say The Joker instead? obviously he stole the whole limelight. nah, no too-bad for Christian Bale, for just being The Batman. good for him that he still has his hot bods and oh yes, very suave. (and damnit, now he has this very nice shave which i totally dig in male species! perfect. but urrgh, why do you have to beat up your mum and sis? definitely not a wise move, badman.)

this superhero movie is strayed. alot of people died, try counting. batman is just rich... and oh yes, very suave, but ya, he cant really save. and maybe someone should explain his very hoarse voice to me. why? sorry that if i expect too much superficial stuffs from this superhero who cant save. the concept of terrorism is injected, leading by the joker who believes criminalism lives in everyone. surprisingly, i find much intelligence in his psychopathy. the moves, plans (impersonation of nurse. ohmy! too bad for those who have fantasy/fetish for nurse uniform. hahaha). kudos to whoever come up with those. hahaha

the movie is really good, which simply means more misses for Heath Ledger. so much for his professionalism in whichever roles he took. nobody can deny him of that. (do i have to remind you the action-packed Brokeback Mountain? eh?) and of cos, locking yourself up in a hotel room for one month is no joke, Joker. too much of him had been given away. "why so serious?" (this line makes me shiver) i like that curly hair boy ever since 10 things i hate about you (vcd owned). time to revisit it. you shouldnt have died :(:(:(

definitely the Movie of the year for me. because it is his movie of the year.

2008-07-25T12:05:00.002+08:00

status: in love with thomas ong.

(hur. sound so much like a declaration. but yep, that actor.)

days gonna be much (more) meaningless without 10pm to look forward to. and today is the last.

and i will be off bbq-ing.

hmph. though it is quite long since i last met those humans. except for M, who... suffered from office distress too.

signing off, grumpy spinster (BLAH!)

2008-07-19T00:44:00.002+08:00

i dont know if it is because...

work has been unfulfilling or
the significant gap i have with working adults or
the whole food poisoning saga or
following which, bad cough and constant flu or
the seemingly meaningless hours from 0900 to 1830 or
the rush for tuition assignment every weekday (except TGIF), or
the weird and stinging pain at elbow or
the snipping of hair which i still cant quite manage or
ohya, my facial cleanser stuffs are finishing too...

im losing grip.

everything seems to be falling apart. being sick makes everything worse. even breathing needs effort.

i think it is really true that you only know what you had/have after you lost it. i was really happy months ago, really quite many months ago. i suddenly got to admit that the random phonecall at one particular night wasnt for nothing, in fact something really did happen, and i had to talk to delude nothing changed. it was long ago. i dont know why, but it was significant, and i appreciated it, alot.

i remember the countless times i messed things up.

im losing everything.

let the sun shines bright tomorrow, at least. -sigh-

2008-07-18T00:28:00.000+08:00

i love Singapore.

haa haa haa ha ha.

2008-07-11T23:25:00.002+08:00

wellwells. im sorry for sucha nong nong ago post. i have been really busy, or rather tired out from 9-630 routine. it has only been a mere 2 weeks. and yes, there are 2 more months to go. sheesh.

anyway, back to BKK! :D

holidays are ♥♥♥! like always!

apart from experiencing the "cultural" exchange, the 7 of us were challenged to squeeze into a SINGLE taxi (we did that a few times), walked up and down red light district, and yes, boys street. haha!

oh ya. we contributed LOTSSS to the thailand economy.

i really cant take a complete picture of my loots. because it is quite confidential... nobody should know how many stuffs/junks i really bought. (\ﾟ∀ﾟ)/

KHAAWP KHOON KHA~!

and of course, there are nasty stuffs i really hate about the trip. blah!

1. people keep thinking that i am a transexual
2. people keep thinking that i am a transexual
3. people keep thinking that i am a transexual
4. people keep thinking that i am a transexual
5. people keep thinking that i am a transexual
6. people keep thinking that i am a transexual
7. people keep thinking that i am a transexual
8. people keep thinking that i am a transexual
9. people keep thinking that i am a transexual
10. people keep thinking that i am a transexual!!!

>:(

i am not lah... BLAH!

2008-06-23T10:46:00.007+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,SHING!♥

2008-06-22T20:58:00.002+08:00

yesterday was a HAPPY spending day. spent moolah; on clothes (crazy MNG sales :D) and fooooood. most importantly, spent time; with precious friends. did quite a bit of catching up, and still, we never fail to bring up that SQ and "mr. I" lousy rumour. haha. anyway, hope everything will be fine for my dear friend for your first day in school tomorrow!

on another note, im secretly quite excited to be an OL. just because of the clothes i have to wear... urhuh, i have reasons/excuses to shop! and then... there is nothing much to look forward to. im dreading waking-up-early, squeezing-public-transport, lunchtimes, etcshits... and really alot more. BUT STILL, i need the job!

blarh! everything shall be fine.

and also, before all the shits come... IM ESCAPING TO BANGKOK!

a much awaited trip. that's really excitingshit. whee:D:D:D

-

a little random note: i blog-hopped a little and came across a poly graduation post. i saw a familar face; that legendary promotor. singapore is small hur. and anyway, he is really quite something. definitely very different from what i first see him as.

and i dont know why i cant be someone different too :/

2008-06-18T01:54:00.002+08:00

last week was... (屮ﾟДﾟ)屮!

gee. alrighty. it wasnt all that bad. it was just the IT Fair which pretty much drained me out. luckily there were enough promoters to spread the workload(: and all the cheap thrills really work.

but there was ZERO cute geek. blah.

and i realised it is extremely sweet for couples to put their photo in wallet. especially for the man. during the it fair, i had seen approximately a thousand of open-wallet-action. and only around (or less) 5 men had photo with their respective half in their wallet. i dont know why, it feels really... special. specially sweet.

on another random note, friday the 13th was really bad. the sight hitted me hard enough to feel to cracks inside. i wished i didnt feel so. i could have call out for you to come forward, but my first instinct was to turn around. i saw you, then her, then your smile, then i turned. i felt like a piece of rubbish then. a number of things fell badly in place after that. which include an unfulfilled promise, cancelled plan, words of unintentional. i was badly messed up by myself.

okays. shall rewind to some happy event (っﾟ∀ﾟ)っ on monday (last week!)

the morning was spent gymming with other 2 women. we struggled with the equipments quite badly. but at least we really did exercise! bimbo J and i were kindof glad that we looked kindof sporty with our shoe bags. haha.

for some reason... i think we over-exercised. or maybe just mentally-bimbotic. we think that the ard 2-hours of gymming session is enough for the day and decided to head to TAO'S for lunch. a super duper full 6 course meal! and we were such lazy bums that we flagged a taxi to get to paradiz centre. and i think we were seriously hungry then.

THE LUNCH
sorry that there isnt any photo of the very nice starter; bacon & mushroom gratin, taste really good with the toasted bread :D dont expect any nice from the salad dish, all kindof sucked for me. soup is alright. and bimbo J's main; marinated lamb cutlet is superb! my dessert; chocolate fondue is good. creme brulee is unexpectedly disappointing. many many thumbs up for their rose apple tea. (I WANT TO GO THERE AND EAT AGAIN LA!)

and yes, our morning's exercise kindof went into waste.

somehow, that day was really random. 'cos, all i could remember afterwhich was... walking, walking, and alot more walking. our legs got killed then. blarh!

FF! for life! Friends and Food!

2008-06-08T23:51:00.002+08:00

OKAYS. i am done with my exams. i am totally not excited by GSS, in fact, it is quite forgotten. because i am not financial capable of doing/getting anything. that is depressing.

on a big note, 小姐♥ flew! blah! very depressing.

(shall stop here. blogger-block. and yes, i changed my blogskin. again.)

2008-05-30T11:38:00.002+08:00

hi. i am here to declare that i have the weirdest, or maybe the random-est tutee. a few days ago, we finished a session and watched a bit of the 9pm channel8 show. the scene started with Elvin Ng in the hospital... and my tutee just said "oh, he gotten parkinson's disease." he said it like it is the most natural thing on earth. i was like so confused and we ended up exchanging at least 10 lines with "PARKINSON'S DISEASE?!". his even-younger brother at one side was left totally clueless and pretty disturbed.

till now, i still have no idea why he chose "parkinson's disease".

why sia?

blah!

hairkneeway. something nice came in mail... a few days ago! (ok, my transfer phone->comp isnt working. so yep, no pictures for that.) basically, there is nothing much to expect from mail. because i havent been shopping online, all i know will come are BILLS. but nah, it is a card from my dearest friend all the way from canada(((: the card is really full of words. very touching, and yep, nostalgic too. cheers~

i miss my friends!

i still think friendship is amazing. (っﾟ∀ﾟ)っ

2008-05-28T10:52:00.002+08:00

wellssssssss. im feeling pretty detached from the outside world. be it in reality or virtual. have not stepped out of the house for days... and i am really lazy to do so. i have like at least 10 things to do before i can go and face the cold hard cruel world.

1. bath
2. 3-steps-routine to save my zomg face
3. ransack wardrobe (which has pretty much the same clothes)
4. decide to wear the first set, after trying out ten
5. PAINT MY FACE
6. blow dry my hair
7. tie, untie, clip, unclip, decide that messy hair suit me the best
8. hunt for accessories (everywhere!)
9. spray whatever and whereever i want
10. omg... WHICH BAG?
11. arrrrrrr... WHERES MY KEYS? i need to get out of my house
12. ok. im out! :D
13. sheesh. WHERES MY PHONE? i need to text my friends that "v sorry. will be late:("

hah. of cos the above is very exaggerated. (if you believe so)

so... i have been at home. should have been studying for my last paper, which is coming and ending in ard 4 days. i still remember i was L-O-L-ing when i had like 16 days to study for it. but now... (っ´Д｀)っ things dont look good! i still cant remember the case laws.

and partly because i am very distracted. by the internet? nah, ive quitted blog stalkerism. because, my computer is going bonkers. because, my fellow accompanists-in-crime are doing ALOT better! because, i find Wentworth Miller zillion times hotter than anybody on earth. yep, im watching Prison Break 3. he looks so good and so suitable to be kept within the fence. haha. but yep, i have managed to ascertain self control and stopped at episode 4, which is on par with channel 5, okay?!

i am so glad that i am still able to go tudou, crunchyroll, imeem, despite not being able to enter HOTMAIL, friendster, facebook and photobucket. see, im really detached from virtual world too. BLAH! i have a love and hate relationship with technology too.

LONG LIVE WENTWORTH MILLER :D

2008-05-26T10:25:00.005+08:00

had a really beautiful birthday this year. because i have family who still dote alot on this qian-jin-wannabe. because i have friends who still remember, who still insist birthday card is a must, who still bother to check out my address and surprise me at my doorstep, who make the effort to plan for the night of celebration, who take note and know all my favourites; presents, cakes, flowers. all in all, i am really thankful for the company. cheers for the friendship!

birthday feels like personalised christmas. you are allowed to wish, to hope... by not saying aloud.

some days ago,

"... i almost forgot today's date. one whole year ago, she was bawling her eyes out for she had let go of the dependency, the memories, the years' of efforts, the habit, her beliefs, of what seemed almost everything to her. the crying was mad. and really painful...
... tonight, i remember quite alot. i cant believe it still feels... quite the same.

... at least, you are happy...
... i cant care anymore..."

yesterday, he looks and feels the same. the same old him. but i feel different, i know ive changed.
things had happened so long ago and they arent meant to change. i know my limits.

(and again, i tried to contact you, but you just aint there.)

today, sorry about the half-truth that "... e morning rain is so good to sleep in~". i must be retard or what. i started weeping out loud out of the sudden and i couldnt stop. i feel too weak to get out of house now.

and i start to think, what am i to do in life? everything feels too heavy to move on.

2008-05-19T22:06:00.002+08:00

urhuh. been spending many many days at the national library with these people. (including Datuk's daughter, uncle sim, very senior chiang, billy, holy and chiafy) it is a love and hate thing to be there.

blarh. still 14 days to my next and last paper. obviously, im getting very (very) complacent.

will start revision soon. hmph!

anyway, ive missed out sth; shing has POL too. long lived curly hair guy.

2008-05-12T17:21:00.002+08:00

(っ´Д｀)っ i swear this is the worst period in my life!

...

ogay. perhaps just this year. how can i underestimate how life gonna suck even more.

messy hair, very bad skin, short (colourless) nails, and i feel stupid, yes, s t u p i d. statisticshit was really statisticshit. haha. so that equates to maths>99 for a better overall grade. i dont know how the very bad skin made a comeback. i never thought that stress (and maybe lack of sleep) can make such a ugly scene.

worse, moolah-less too.

worse-est, fat too.

ultimate depressing. 小姐♥ said you live 3 minutes shorter when you let out a sigh. i could i easily clock 1 hour per day by making 20 loooooong sorrowful sighs. so that means dying 365 hours earlier each year... 15 days...

HAISSSSSSSSSSSSSS. depressing!

yes, d e p r e s s i n g :(

2008-05-08T17:32:00.002+08:00

i am feeling thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat bad.

reasons: econs was kindof crapshits, i still have papers to go, end of exam is still 25 days to go, statisticshit is 16 hours later, journey to east and west again, i wont be seeing you anymore, handphone becomes a piece of lousy wood.

i feel so depressed. i just want something really simple and easy actually. enough to cheer me up. though it would mean nothing at all. what happened again?

=( =( =(

2008-05-05T01:55:00.002+08:00

T/F

go and die la! >:(

2008-05-01T01:29:00.002+08:00

>:( + @.@

angry and confused

guessing game isnt fun. especially when you know exactly how it is supposed to be played.

2008-04-30T22:58:00.002+08:00

OOOH~

I AM ONLINE! :D :D :D touching the mouse, moving the cursor, tapping the keys away... typing (nonsensical) stuffs here! i have been living my life as a cavewoman again la! no virtual stalking, no sending funnyshits emoticons. no online shopping, no watching videos from small screen. just because i have no chance to use the computer.

RAWR RAWR RAWR!

something more stupid now. i found something funny but i cant find anyone to share with! just because there are only 25 contacts on my msn, and only 4 are 'online' (1 busy, 1 away, 2 really online). so sorry, but i think that 2 pathetic souls wouldnt appreciate my humour. i feel like a primary 2 who has only 25 friends.

:( :( :(

yea... i had all my msn contacts deleted! God knows who did that or how it happened. so DEAR FRIENDS, please private message me a "hello!" so i can add you back. regardless im online or not... MSN MEEE!!!

anyway, this is the funny thing! >>>HAHAHA<<<

exams in 8 days. i think this is some funnyshits too. BLAAAAH. I BYE YOU!

2008-04-27T09:45:00.003+08:00

五月天.

五月天!

the concert was wayyy better than the previous. good choice of songs. (all my favourites!) stage. planning. 3 + hours seem really short! superbbb~~~

shall do a better update next time. (i took many pictures of the big stage and small 五月天-s) now im trying to find out whats the problem with my hotmail and msn. apparently it just blocked everyone. rawr!

MAYDAY!

2008-04-23T23:36:00.002+08:00

today feels weird. like my phone beeps more than usual. and i just know, people gonna come and go. i am getting used to it.

somehow, im anticipating 2359 when i am gonna text you "Happy Birthday!". i think this is pretty exciting, 'cos you most probably not gonna remember me. then i will be a blonde and reply something to escape. how expected! >:(

2008-04-21T17:30:00.001+08:00

silence is not always golden. at least that's what my mum's daughter doesnt like about me. one morning, she cornered me up with questions about my priorities in life. and all i did was... no, i didnt speak a word. there are many reasons to it. or to sum it up, it is because we can never say "ok, i understand." urhuh, so... whats the point?

to add on, that was a sunday morning and i was rushing for work.

in the end, we exchanged lousy lines and got so agitated. that was how the horrible sunday started, angry tears and a big mess.

luckily, work was much better.

i seriously think i suck at time management. and ohyah, human relations too.

2008-04-19T21:18:00.002+08:00

virtual stalkerismha-ha-ha- i guess it is fun while it last. anything isnt healthy once it becomes an obsession. ogay, i am not an addict for that. at least i dont spot people in the public with their links. heh, very amusing though. :D and just another update, i am too tied up with studies and work... for anything else now.

:( :( :( & bumbum. i want to eat i want to eat i want to eat i want to eat i want to eat i want to eat i want to eat i want to eat i want to eat i want to eat. so be it if i dump all my money in donuts, chocolates and ice cream. i want to eat!

2008-04-19T03:24:00.002+08:00

seriously, maybe i have already found the one i want. but things have been the same for all these while... and maybe, should just be left the same. like i can just speak all i want, do all i want... and even judge all i want. it is only sometime, sometime that i wish i really spoke or did just something to make a difference.

i doubt you will even expect that coming. me neither.

but just one thing for sure, im outta that capital V. cheers.

2008-04-13T01:48:00.002+08:00

~~bored, bored-er, bored-est.~~
bohliao, bohliao-er, bohliao-est.

yeah. like i should be totally occupied with my studies now... i am constantly bored by it. brother has been hogging the computer 24/7 with seriously loud *BOMB BOMB BOMB* sounds from his dota game. so, no internet stalking (very deprived), no online shopping... be it just window shopping. hey, and i just realise it is indeed window shopping, since we are hopping from window to window too! ha-ha-

not to say, i miss blogging ridiciously emo. ha-ha-ha- but i feel too ridiciuously bohliao to do so now.

i have this problem with food nowadays. i eat them ALL. plus, all i do whole day long is to bum around. but i cant wait to swallow that new mcdonald's breakfast tomorrow morning!

and another thing, i am not happy.

2008-04-10T11:26:00.002+08:00

oh man... i think this is gross. like how fast time is zooming by. just 16 more days to MAYDAY concert. and so is 28 days to 1st paper.

:( :( :(
and i dreamt of you last night, SXLC. it was a freaky scary nightmare! like you appeared to be so in help but you ended up strangling me. so w.t.f. but it is quite funny as i recalled now. ha-ha!

laoooooos, it is almost 1/3 of the year! how unfulfilling.

2008-04-09T02:02:00.002+08:00

besides busy flying aeroplanes, i have been gossip-girl-ing, painting my nails red, redder, reddest.

or basically, good for nothing.

had J.CO donuts again. never enough. i really wanted to stuff that box of 12 in, but *damnit* they reminded me too much of my face. bimbo J just pointed out my disappearing cheekbones.

SHEEEEEEEEEEEESH~~~~~~ >=(

2008-04-05T22:31:00.002+08:00

Shall stop blurting nonsensical stuffs. Theres karma, and what goes around, comes around. So, I can stop busy finding wood to touch, 'cos not like it is gonna help any bit.

I am neither blonde, nor retarded. "Stop behaving like one then."

There is nothing to hide, it is so bloody obvious, my life stopped the moment I lost you. Till now, I am still trying to pick myself up to no avail.

GG.

2008-04-04T02:44:00.003+08:00

we had fun ambushing the bday girl on a particular morning. making our way up the security-less condo and then right to her doorstep... which was already opened. but still, SURPRISE~ :D

... and then, i supposed good things come in a row. we decided to have a wedding ~~dinner~~ brunch. we especially like it because it is EAT ALL YOU CAN again. anyway, the blissful couple is you know who. O=)

i laughed so hard that i feel muscular at my cheeks again. it has been long since the 8 went out together, without books and all. i was glad we bloop-ed our night (and troubles) away(:

2008-04-04T02:32:00.002+08:00

In your composition, make use of the points given below. You may reorder the points. You may also include other relevant points.
- what occasion might it be
- what were the people doing
- were they really gay

this picture is so in action. the boys were... giggling.

ohmytian. haha!

2008-03-31T01:15:00.000+08:00

I am okay. Life will get better.

Sometimes, I really think it is better not to turn your head around when you hear a strange noise in the room. Maybe your phone vibrated, maybe a cockroach is flying around, or just maybe... you will see a ghost.

Just an analogy.

Like you might see a bloody scene with broken limbs or what not, when you stopped to see the aftermath of a car accident, and thats enough for your day. Or you hide secretly to eavesdrop some conversation and only then you find out you are the hot topic in their unnecessary discussion.

Just an analogy.

We don't usually expect the outcome when we do something. Or maybe, we just can't. Curiosity kills. Often, things just get too unexpectedly wrong. It is never; A. Like this, B. Like That, C. Maybe this or that, or D. None of the above. But always; E. SURPRISE!!!

ha-ha- I never liked option E.

2008-03-29T11:33:00.002+08:00

The only way to stop feeling... horrible because of others, is to move away from them all. I don't wish to feel the same whenever I chance onto those. But again, I should not feel that way because I have totally no right to. I feel betrayed.

This is just a 5-second thing. Because I always get reminded that I should say "I'm sorry" to you.

2008-03-27T14:57:00.002+08:00

People say time pass the fastest with love ones around. But so sorry, I do not have a lover. I can rant on about how deprived I am from this BIGGG element in life, but I decided not to, because I will not know how to stop. Moreover, my eyes are getting smaller and that huge heart-shaped looking thingy can no longer fit into my vision.

Anyway, the point is... I think sweet stuffs satisfy me just as well. I had and still having a fairly large input of sugar lately. Bars after bars of chocolates, honey/fruity/milky drinks and sugary pastry. (I just realise I am lacking of ice cream which I know I am so gonna get it later!) Tried the new doughnuts in town - J.CO :D I can really finish up the whole box of 12 this time round if idea of sharing did not pop into my mind. So, byebye to Donut Factory and the unkempt-looking doughnut cutter guy @ suntec whom I can't quite forget. ha ha~

I like the idea of being cheered up without the initial idea of making one happy. I don't know if anyone get it. The problem is... it makes me stressed rather than happy to know you are trying so hard. But of course, I can't say how thankful I am to know I am still being cared for. Seriously, no one should taken anyone for granted. I know how it feels, exactly.

2008-03-24T19:51:00.002+08:00

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, ~~so you will find yourself with plenty of dates~~.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

-

personality test is fun. the question puts you in a situation and you choose an option. then TADA, you are characterized into some flattering or nasty personality. i find the latter more probable most of the time. urhuh. weak.

i think this webbie is pretty good. do yours here! (i think im gonna have a craze for this. ha-ha-)

2008-03-24T01:48:00.002+08:00

HA-HA-HA-HA-

i completed my work. i stalked fewer blogs (but still read afew. hawhaw~). i rejected an tuition assignment, meaning saved more time for myself. i watched BLEACH epi 165 from somewhere else, cos my favourite crunchyroll is too upright. i nua-ed. i revamped my blog AGAIN.

and of cos, i wished i could say "i revised". ha-ha- loser! :b

tomorrow gonna be challenging. i have things on but they dont flow. and i have no plans to fix them. creativity doesnt work here. management does, which i am seriously lack of.

2008-03-23T02:32:00.003+08:00

i must have mistaken today as SUNDAY for the 894573times. (and yesterday as saturday for 894573 minus 1 times.) okok. so today is just saturday and, supermean, please cool down cos blue-y monday isnt here yet(: but shit, i missed my favourite wocai show. and i slept my whole shatterday away which 'sleeping' is supposed to be sunday's main programme. on another note, there was a chance to party off tonight but i just didnt go. i kindof want to get home near dawn when the air is still & cold, me left with partial hearing, me feeling and being numb. because everything is making too much sense now, i just want to lose a lil of it.

ate aijisen today and i have no idea why it tasted so good. got scared by the corpse/police scene thingy they setted up for Rule No.1, which i have no idea why they have to go to that extend to. did some shopping which i have no idea i spend moolah like water AGAIN. caught The Leap Years and i have no idea why it sounded too much like a fairytale. had tao huay for supper and i have no idea why i still dont fancy as much like the others.

and i caught this using $1. pardon that i (mirror) look like some ghost in the pic. someone above must have pitied that i have no talent (other than irritating people) and gave me this sortof talent in kiap-ing toys. i would make a good boyf material to cheer my girlf up... if that was ever the case.

ha-ha- i have alot to do. HELP!

2008-03-22T01:51:00.002+08:00

i remember an advertisement where the daddy shuts off whatever unpleasantshits the tennis coach told him about his son. like, "your son has absolute no talent in playing tennis!". something like this and more. cancelling the little n-o word really makes a hell lot of different.

i guess i can only do like wise. more talking will only... create more unnecessary talkings. or mere excuses. action speaks louder than words.

on a brighter note, i met up with girlfs today. explored city plaza, shopped @ town, dinner-ed @ coke lounge (just because of the discount coupons), caught stepup2. I WANT TYLER! or at least, more of him. Channing Tatum is real cute. i swear i will buy a figurine of him (if they ever come up with one) and keep the miniature him in my pocket. eh... okay, bag is a better choice.

ogay. i have a few things up my TO-DO list again.
- materials for tuition*
- allocate district for 1400+ outlets (work stuff)*
- get TT from amk hub to revive my nds (which i am very lazy to get my ass down)
- wash clothes
- revision
- make cards!
- get another 2 for $20 from cotton-on (HAHA)
(...) * diedie have to be done this weekend

note: stop shopping, stop ogling online shopping sites, stop thinking i am contributing to the economy, stop retail therapy (though it works terribly well), stop... thinking money are meant to be spent!

i want a big fat piggy bank.

2008-03-21T01:20:00.001+08:00

hello, i should be happy that i can still tabtab here. other than croaking away. all because of all the excessive talkings i did yesterday and today.

i dont know how you define the worst emotion, or what. for now, i feel accused. and to make it the worse, accused by the people you should trust / be trusted most. you feel so bad that you feel like running off, just to make sure they dont see your tears.

on top of that, i feel i am always labelled "never good enough" by them. i thought the least they should be glad about is me being independent. earning dollars through hardwork, and not just easy money of smile-and-pose job. paying for my own expenses. even friends-time is sacrificed. though i changed a phone, which you think is luxurious or wad, but the fact is i earned a profit after all the trouble i did to get discount and fetch N70's best price. i tried hard not to make money an issue. washing quite a portion of my own clothes. popping in pills like now, on my own, cos i am ill and i am never to complain. but, all i remind them of is me falling short in my academic. and so i had to enrol into sim. i am a burden to the family, and nothing else.

you know? i have no idea who to turn to, if i am even to be left behind... in the family.

tonight must be the worst night ever.

2008-03-17T22:35:00.003+08:00

i walk around with a box of tissue hanging over my neck. i flood my dustbin with used tissues. i create noise pollution with sneezing sounds of all different pitches.

i. am. sick. shit.

:(((((((((((

2008-03-16T19:00:00.003+08:00

~~- collect cheque from 8RR~~ 10/03/08
~~- get a haircut (plus, cheat for student price!)~~ 14/03/08
~~- shop for present and card materials~~ 12/03/08
~~- make card~~s 13/03/08
~~- birthday surprise!~~ 14/03/08
- revamp NDS
~~- call 1633 to checkout mobile promotions~~ 15/03/08
~~- check out N70's value~~ 15/03/08
(... and the list continues)

current no.1 to-do: GULP DOWN LOTS OF WATER.
i dont want to be down with sore throat. revision classes and work gonna start :((( no more bumming around in messy home.

loots: 2 pieces of cloths from net. 1 piece of floral cloth. 1 set of something purple. 1 yellow and 1 white cloths from mango. 1 pair of slipper. 1 pair of pink blink studs. 1 nokia 6500 slide. $170 -yes, this is a loot!

actually i spent alot more. but i ate all away. yum yum! :D

2008-03-16T18:48:00.002+08:00

想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛
连沉默也痛

遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛

gave everything away.

koizora

2008-03-13T23:29:00.004+08:00

Koizora 『恋空』

ar... yes. i weep real bad for that show. (despite it being quite a melodramatic cliché.) i have no idea why love can be so beautiful, yet painful at the same time. my heart drops a little whenever i recall some scenes from the movie.

it is just a story. and no one is supposed to relate fiction to real life. (ok, maybe koizora is "true story" from somewhere.) but ya... it reminded me of you. alot of you. and maybe... you and i. it painfully reminded how we used to be each other's happiness, pillar of support and bliss. how things broke up into bits and pieces and we both got too weary and drained to fix them. how memories were scattered. how painful it is to remind myself not to remember any part of you.

ok... obviously, i got too carried away. but the story does say... a special someone will always have a part of you. be it years or... forever.

though i wish this is a lie.

watch the movie and find the reason in your tears(:

"we will forever be... in LOVE!" -koizora

2008-03-12T02:46:00.002+08:00

"...find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass."
-from the movie, Juno

(the movie isnt exactly nice. somehow... it is just quite true. feels real.)

i guess i am really into all these romanceshits. like how i still think love is a perfect heart-shaped, tastes exactly sweet and never too sweet.

and maybe that's why being hurt and tears would just melt the love away.

i dont know. i have lost touch with that thing.

2008-03-11T16:00:00.003+08:00

he is so o-m-g! his magic videos are top on my list now. taking out burgers, mobile phones, drinks from posters... out of no where. then putting them back. like how how how?! how he did that?!!! for eg, http://youtube.com/watch?v=vMGhifEUrPk

gee. i know all these are like years ago. but i am still very very fascinated. and i want to go japan, so maybe i can bump onto him and he can offer me a bite on burger from poster (i am v hungry now!). or any sort of magic. why dont i meet any magician on the street? i think it is seriously exciting to get scared by these tricks.

this is the worst scaryshit; http://youtube.com/watch?v=7lO7bnSy-Eo&feature=related

53xyback, u should watch these videos. it makes ur eyes go O.O!

2008-03-11T14:03:00.005+08:00

no more 9hours of standing, "hello, looking for external hard disk?" x 53276/day, oversized polo, strange and out-of-my-world questionsss. im glad that IT show is OVER!

the main problem is that my IT knowledge is close to zero. plus, there was this quite aggressive competitor right beside my booth. sales were really difficult. and of cos, IT geeks chose to listen to their fellow male species instead. bumbum. i feel apologetic towards the superduper nice boss for not clearing up the stocks.

and i had this "my POA is damn screwed" ringing in my mind throughout the 4 days. yea indeed, i even skipped my paper yesterday. i am guilty!

but at least the day was well-spent. heh. though not on books. had the company of my fellow person-in-guilt. it was indeed a Bimbotic day (with a capital B!) with her around! haha. sang k and headed town to get our nails done(: i bet we look eccentric with our way of handling utensils when we eat. so much for being hungry ghosts and afraid of damaging our newly painted nails. all our actions following after the mani & pedicure session were really weird. but nvm, i have nice french nails now! :D :D :D it is quite a good deal(: feels good to pamper myself once in a while, (especially after hardwork at IT fair!).

ok, i am going to update my list of TO-DOs. failed to complete quite a few due to oversleeping and lousy weather. gua gua~

and i am so gonna to draw up my mugging timetable and make sure i follow it. i had a really bad scare during mocks this time round. not gonna let it happen again, or else i will be bawling my eyes out on my journey across singapore. (main exam held @ expo! how dreadful :/)

TATA!
ps. dear friends, i miss you!

2008-03-10T02:11:00.002+08:00

im so afraid i will forget something again.

i have like a whole list of not-important-but-i-HAVE-to-do-things. and of cos, very-important-and-i-just-have-to-remember dates. my brain is really failing me. ohmy...

and of cos, a whole chunk of memories to be deleted. again, i dont have much of a choice, but to leave it aside. for now... and ever. i never like to take rollar coaster rides.

:(:(:( next post shall be all about funny-shit updates. like... ha-ha-

2008-03-09T01:08:00.002+08:00

happiness = bubbles, happiness = bubbles, happiness = bubbles

!!!

they burst. and of cos they burst! like what do they do, other than bursting?! and in just a peewee-second, you feel the emptiness right in it.

that's it.

:O :O :O

i need to do yoga or mediate to calm myself down. omfg. BLARHHH!

also, i think a friend should go to hell for pissing her friend off.

and so, im so gonna go to hell.

@#$%^&*()@#$%^&*()@#$%^&*(!

2008-03-02T14:47:00.002+08:00

like... i dont know i dont know i dont know!

i just want to meet up with my girlfriends. i need my input of sweet sinful food and nonsensical romance movies.

once again, i think i am messing up my... already-very-much-messed-up-life. letting people down and shutting people out. like how difficult it is to apologise when you already know it is your mistake, and you are at fault? silence is not always golden. how difficult is it to tell another someone that you are really upset... and you have no idea what you can do anymore?

and worst, words dont come out from your mouth the way you want.

at times like this, i miss pouring my emotions out to you. because you knew how to dry my tears the way i needed.

but forget about never ever. so, i choose to cover everything with silly looks and lies. believe it or not, i never want my life to be such a joke to people.

nevermind.

and i dont know why... seems like i am giving up on my POA. i feel so much like a total disappointment.

2008-02-29T01:16:00.003+08:00

yeah. go ahead and say "hi angry, i am -blahblahblah-" instead. cos ya, i am really angry! ... and i think my joke is not funny anymore! (eh... like when you grumble that "i am hungry", i'll greet you "hi hungry, i am jiamin!", or like "i am tired" and i'll say "hi tired, i am jiamin", or like "i am full"... uhuh. u get the idea. HA-HA-)

anyway, today is a bad attempt to make my life an exciting one. 7 of you will know why! well, at least i provided good entertainment for you guys.

hmm... though it isnt exactly reality. i made a little episode out of the incident. i am sorry that i added a little sugar and spice.

Prada didnt reply. that's all.

then i came up with some reasons:
a) P dropped his phone in the toilet bowl
b) P's dog (probably named Gucci) ate his phone
c) some escaped limping guy stole his phone to contact his accomplice
d) 3 gay boys played a prank
e) my small eyes missed the digits
f) P doesnt bother to

yea, i know, it must be ffffffffffffffffffff. ffffffffffffffffffff!

HA-HA- ha- ha- gee. im just a little bored.